00:00:41:23 - 00:00:47:19
Hi everyone and welcome back to another
Style and Strategy podcast.
00:00:47:19 - 00:00:50:23
Today I'm taking a slightly different
tweak to the podcast because I am all
00:00:50:23 - 00:00:54:05
Today I'm taking a slightly different
tweak to the podcast because I am all
00:00:54:05 - 00:00:55:10
about showcasing the fact that you are so
much more than just your title, so much
00:00:55:10 - 00:01:00:00
about showcasing the fact that you are so
much more than just your title, so much
00:01:00:00 - 00:01:02:23
more than your brand as well as your
style.
00:01:02:23 - 00:01:05:10
You are a multifaceted individual.
00:01:05:10 - 00:01:09:09
And so as part of that, many of us are
also mums.
00:01:09:09 - 00:01:12:11
and many of us are working moms as well.
00:01:12:11 - 00:01:18:10
So introducing Belinda Joyce, your trusted
companion on the Midwife in Your Pocket
00:01:18:10 - 00:01:19:11
podcast.
00:01:19:11 - 00:01:24:15
With over two decades of expertise as a
midwife and maternal health nurse, Belinda
00:01:24:15 - 00:01:29:00
has supported thousands of families
through pregnancy, newborn care and
00:01:29:00 - 00:01:29:19
beyond.
00:01:29:19 - 00:01:35:09
As a mother of four herself, and author of
Survive and Enjoy Your Baby, she
00:01:35:09 - 00:01:38:05
intimately understands the journey of
parenthood,
00:01:38:05 - 00:01:42:17
the highs of bonding with your newborn to
the challenges of sleepless nights and
00:01:42:17 - 00:01:43:21
feeding struggles.
00:01:43:21 - 00:01:49:04
Let me introduce you and join Belinda as
she shares her wisdom, compassion and
00:01:49:04 - 00:01:54:02
practical advice to help you navigate
those early years of parenting with
00:01:54:02 - 00:01:56:01
confidence and joy.
00:01:56:01 - 00:02:00:01
Belinda, welcome to the Style and Strategy
podcast.
00:02:00:01 - 00:02:01:15
Thanks for having me.
00:02:02:01 - 00:02:03:19
You're very welcome.
00:02:03:19 - 00:02:07:07
So Belinda, why don't we kick off a little
bit around how you think working mums can
00:02:07:07 - 00:02:11:15
So Belinda, why don't we kick off a little
bit around how you think working mums can
00:02:11:15 - 00:02:16:22
really deal with that first stage of,
let's say if they are, finding out that
00:02:16:22 - 00:02:18:13
they're pregnant and they're really...
00:02:18:13 - 00:02:22:06
challenged and you know everyone gets
scared about going and having that
00:02:22:06 - 00:02:27:03
conversation with their managers and so
forth and you really start thinking then
00:02:27:03 - 00:02:31:09
straight away to the cot and and all these
things that are going to happen sort of
00:02:31:09 - 00:02:32:23
nine months down the track.
00:02:32:23 - 00:02:33:14
What are your sort of experience around
that and what should we be really thinking
00:02:33:14 - 00:02:36:13
What are your sort of experience around
that and what should we be really thinking
00:02:36:13 - 00:02:38:13
about at that early stage?
00:02:38:13 - 00:02:43:16
I think early on everyone's thinking about
when is the right time to tell everyone.
00:02:43:16 - 00:02:48:20
And I think the majority of people wait
till around the 12 week mark when they
00:02:48:20 - 00:02:52:13
feel that the pregnancy is going well,
they're healthy, they're feeling a little
00:02:52:13 - 00:02:53:16
feel that the pregnancy is going well,
they're healthy, they're feeling a little
00:02:53:16 - 00:02:54:16
bit better.
00:02:54:16 - 00:02:59:17
But that also means that they've got about
three months of feeling totally exhausted
00:02:59:17 - 00:03:06:09
because they're making a human being but
not feeling like they can tell anyone.
00:03:06:09 - 00:03:09:19
about the challenges that are going on for
them at that time.
00:03:09:19 - 00:03:10:17
So I think, um, you know, early nights,
trying not to overwhelm themselves, uh,
00:03:10:17 - 00:03:15:20
So I think, um, you know, early nights,
trying not to overwhelm themselves, uh,
00:03:15:20 - 00:03:20:23
keeping work as simple as possible and
just doing what you have to do.
00:03:20:23 - 00:03:24:19
And then coming home and resting is
really, really important in those first
00:03:24:19 - 00:03:25:17
few months.
00:03:25:17 - 00:03:31:06
And then when you're able to start telling
people, it all becomes very obvious what's
00:03:31:06 - 00:03:34:17
happened in those previous couple of
months.
00:03:34:17 - 00:03:34:22
And by then, usually people have started
realizing.
00:03:34:22 - 00:03:38:07
And by then, usually people have started
realizing.
00:03:38:07 - 00:03:39:11
And by then, usually people have started
realizing.
00:03:40:07 - 00:03:40:18
Definitely.
00:03:40:18 - 00:03:45:14
I think, you know, having that support at
home and sort of the family and everyone
00:03:45:14 - 00:03:49:07
during those first few months is
absolutely critical.
00:03:49:07 - 00:03:55:17
I can remember walking around to meetings,
walking around with dry crackers at every
00:03:55:17 - 00:04:02:15
meeting, trying to hold it together while
I was feeling extremely ill at the time.
00:04:02:15 - 00:04:02:18
crackers are fantastic.
00:04:02:18 - 00:04:04:04
crackers are fantastic.
00:04:04:04 - 00:04:08:16
And another little tip would be fruit
tingle lollies or something similar
00:04:08:16 - 00:04:14:00
because they've got that fizzy, I don't
know, an effervescence or something to
00:04:14:00 - 00:04:19:14
them that it really can help take away
those, those feelings of nausea.
00:04:19:21 - 00:04:20:14
Oh, okay.
00:04:20:14 - 00:04:22:06
I'd never heard the fruit tingle one.
00:04:22:06 - 00:04:24:11
See, where were you when I needed you?
00:04:24:11 - 00:04:25:01
See, where were you when I needed you?
00:04:25:18 - 00:04:30:17
And so, you know, we start to go through
these mind shifts as you, you know, come
00:04:30:17 - 00:04:32:06
And so, you know, we start to go through
these mind shifts as you, you know, come
00:04:32:06 - 00:04:34:23
along that pregnancy sort of journey.
00:04:34:23 - 00:04:41:14
And part of that mind shift is you start
to, you are focused on bub and what's
00:04:41:14 - 00:04:43:02
happening in that space.
00:04:43:02 - 00:04:43:10
And it's so, especially if it is one of
your first.
00:04:43:10 - 00:04:45:18
And it's so, especially if it is one of
your first.
00:04:45:18 - 00:04:50:17
But along that journey, we get a little
bit challenged around once we've told
00:04:50:17 - 00:04:55:08
people, especially your boss or things
like that, sometimes there's a perception
00:04:55:08 - 00:04:59:00
you might have internally that people
think, oh, well, she's gonna be distracted
00:04:59:00 - 00:05:04:17
now, or she's gonna be not focused on her
work anymore.
00:05:04:17 - 00:05:11:06
Have you had any experiences or examples
where you've heard that from others as
00:05:11:06 - 00:05:11:23
well?
00:05:11:23 - 00:05:12:00
well?
00:05:12:04 - 00:05:17:04
are absolutely many women will say that
there's a perception that they're not up
00:05:17:04 - 00:05:20:02
for the job anymore now that they're
pregnant.
00:05:20:02 - 00:05:25:05
And which is of course not the case
pregnant women and mothers are very great
00:05:25:05 - 00:05:25:22
And which is of course not the case
pregnant women and mothers are very great
00:05:25:22 - 00:05:28:03
at still doing all of their jobs.
00:05:28:03 - 00:05:28:06
But there's extra, I guess it's like a
project, isn't it on the side that's
00:05:28:06 - 00:05:33:19
But there's extra, I guess it's like a
project, isn't it on the side that's
00:05:33:19 - 00:05:38:04
happening in your personal life, and it
does flow into your work as well.
00:05:38:04 - 00:05:39:22
But I would have to say,
00:05:39:22 - 00:05:44:21
that women who are preparing to have a
baby or after returning to work, they
00:05:44:21 - 00:05:50:05
often become much more productive because
they're trying to fit everything in.
00:05:50:05 - 00:05:56:15
They get extremely good at prioritizing
because they have to, there's no choice.
00:05:56:15 - 00:05:58:18
So it can actually be a real benefit.
00:05:58:18 - 00:05:59:00
yeah, definitely.
00:05:59:00 - 00:05:59:23
yeah, definitely.
00:05:59:23 - 00:06:02:11
I'd say it's a ruthless prioritization,
isn't it?
00:06:02:11 - 00:06:03:17
I'd say it's a ruthless prioritization,
isn't it?
00:06:05:05 - 00:06:11:22
And so when they are, like, so as they get
through that end state, what's some advice
00:06:11:22 - 00:06:18:00
that you would give sort of that working
mom who's starting to think about, okay, I
00:06:18:00 - 00:06:23:02
need to at least four weeks before I
believe it is from memory, you have to let
00:06:23:02 - 00:06:25:13
your sort of employer know.
00:06:25:13 - 00:06:25:19
that your intentions around what sort of
time frame you're looking at taking off
00:06:25:19 - 00:06:30:10
that your intentions around what sort of
time frame you're looking at taking off
00:06:30:10 - 00:06:32:23
from maternity leave and so forth.
00:06:32:23 - 00:06:34:04
Is there any guidelines or advice that you
would give at that stage at what they
00:06:34:04 - 00:06:37:07
Is there any guidelines or advice that you
would give at that stage at what they
00:06:37:07 - 00:06:38:18
should be considering?
00:06:38:18 - 00:06:38:22
should be considering?
00:06:38:22 - 00:06:42:12
Yes, I think it's really important that
they think about what sort of return to
00:06:42:12 - 00:06:44:08
Yes, I think it's really important that
they think about what sort of return to
00:06:44:08 - 00:06:46:10
work they're wanting to have.
00:06:46:10 - 00:06:52:16
So some women will say, I'm just going to
take six weeks off and return soon after.
00:06:52:16 - 00:06:58:01
Many will take more like six months or
even think of taking a year.
00:06:58:01 - 00:07:01:23
I often say to people, and it's worth
having a little look at your agreement
00:07:01:23 - 00:07:02:08
I often say to people, and it's worth
having a little look at your agreement
00:07:02:08 - 00:07:03:19
that you're under for work.
00:07:03:19 - 00:07:06:06
We're all under different agreements as
well.
00:07:06:06 - 00:07:12:01
but often you can take say six months, but
then continue to extend that to a year or
00:07:12:01 - 00:07:14:04
sometimes even two years.
00:07:14:04 - 00:07:18:20
And because you're not sure yet what
you're going to want to do.
00:07:18:20 - 00:07:23:17
So at this point, before you even birth
your baby, you might think you're going to
00:07:23:17 - 00:07:28:01
want to go back to work very quickly, but
when you meet your baby, that can all
00:07:28:01 - 00:07:28:12
change.
00:07:28:12 - 00:07:32:11
I've seen many women decide to take
longer.
00:07:32:11 - 00:07:36:19
I have seen the flip side of that as well,
where people have put in for 12 months,
00:07:36:19 - 00:07:38:12
maternity leave straight away.
00:07:38:12 - 00:07:42:02
And then they've had their baby and
they've wanted to go back sooner.
00:07:42:02 - 00:07:46:05
And that can be problematic, especially if
they've backfilled your position with
00:07:46:05 - 00:07:47:02
somebody else.
00:07:47:02 - 00:07:51:15
So I think it's sometimes a good idea just
to take a smaller amount of time than what
00:07:51:15 - 00:07:56:19
you think you will want and then look to
extend that down the track.
00:07:56:20 - 00:07:58:10
Yeah, that's great, great advice, actually
there.
00:07:58:10 - 00:07:58:15
So if, if I think about, you know,
reflecting on that time when you kind of
00:07:58:16 - 00:08:05:06
So normally right up to that four weeks or
so before your due date, you know, a lot
00:08:05:06 - 00:08:10:10
of the time, all you're thinking about is
the cot, the nursery.
00:08:10:10 - 00:08:15:05
maybe, you know, take home clothes, the
birth, that type of thing.
00:08:15:05 - 00:08:21:03
And there is a whole other world that kind
of happens afterwards, especially for
00:08:21:03 - 00:08:23:04
those who are first time moms out there.
00:08:23:04 - 00:08:24:16
those who are first time moms out there.
00:08:24:16 - 00:08:30:17
What are some of the things that people
are likely to forget about and should be
00:08:30:17 - 00:08:33:02
starting to really prep for?
00:08:33:21 - 00:08:37:18
So I think there is a massive focus on
setting up the nursery, which is
00:08:37:18 - 00:08:38:17
important.
00:08:38:17 - 00:08:45:05
And the birth getting the baby out becomes
a massive focus and it's hard for it not
00:08:45:05 - 00:08:47:01
to be because you're getting larger.
00:08:47:01 - 00:08:51:09
You've got that tummy and you're feeling
your baby move so much.
00:08:51:09 - 00:08:54:01
But the reality is the birth is, is really
important, but for most people it's one
00:08:54:01 - 00:08:57:07
But the reality is the birth is, is really
important, but for most people it's one
00:08:57:07 - 00:08:58:08
day.
00:08:58:08 - 00:09:00:18
Whereas after the baby is born,
00:09:00:18 - 00:09:05:07
you've got a baby to care for 24 hours a
day for many, many years ahead.
00:09:05:07 - 00:09:06:02
you've got a baby to care for 24 hours a
day for many, many years ahead.
00:09:06:02 - 00:09:07:01
And there's a lot of, there's a lot to
learn for most new parents.
00:09:07:01 - 00:09:09:14
And there's a lot of, there's a lot to
learn for most new parents.
00:09:09:14 - 00:09:14:15
So mums and dads, there's so much to
learn, especially if you haven't been
00:09:14:15 - 00:09:19:20
around babies and young children a lot
yourself, and if it's your first.
00:09:19:20 - 00:09:24:22
So all the learnings around that first
week when you get home,
00:09:24:22 - 00:09:28:09
feeding, whether you're choosing to breast
or bottle feed, all the how to care for a
00:09:28:09 - 00:09:29:08
feeding, whether you're choosing to breast
or bottle feed, all the how to care for a
00:09:29:08 - 00:09:33:15
newborn baby, sleep and settling is a huge
one.
00:09:33:15 - 00:09:38:16
It's normal for newborns to need to feed,
you know, really frequently and to cry
00:09:38:16 - 00:09:43:14
very often and for that to increase over
the first six weeks of life.
00:09:43:14 - 00:09:48:09
Just when you sort of think it should be
getting easier, it gets a bit harder.
00:09:48:09 - 00:09:52:16
And so there is this huge amounts of
information to learn as a new parent.
00:09:52:16 - 00:09:57:07
And if people can start learning that
before the birth, it would be really
00:09:57:07 - 00:10:01:06
helpful and set them up for a much
smoother beginning to parenthood.
00:10:01:06 - 00:10:03:00
helpful and set them up for a much
smoother beginning to parenthood.
00:10:03:05 - 00:10:03:22
Yeah.
00:10:03:22 - 00:10:08:13
And I think, you know, the words of I
think many of us that have been there and
00:10:08:13 - 00:10:16:03
done that is no one told me or prepared me
or could have actually really prepared you
00:10:16:03 - 00:10:20:20
for that moment after baby's kind of born,
right?
00:10:20:20 - 00:10:21:02
for that moment after baby's kind of born,
right?
00:10:21:02 - 00:10:21:23
But actually, if and back in my day, it
was that lovely thick book.
00:10:21:23 - 00:10:27:16
But actually, if and back in my day, it
was that lovely thick book.
00:10:27:16 - 00:10:27:22
you know, what to expect when you're
expecting and no, not the movie.
00:10:27:22 - 00:10:31:11
you know, what to expect when you're
expecting and no, not the movie.
00:10:31:11 - 00:10:31:13
you know, what to expect when you're
expecting and no, not the movie.
00:10:31:16 - 00:10:31:23
The actual book was all we kind of had.
00:10:31:23 - 00:10:34:20
The actual book was all we kind of had.
00:10:34:20 - 00:10:37:03
And I remember having that tabbed.
00:10:37:03 - 00:10:37:07
And I remember having that tabbed.
00:10:37:07 - 00:10:37:12
But the experience of going through it and
talking to others around it and experts
00:10:37:12 - 00:10:43:09
But the experience of going through it and
talking to others around it and experts
00:10:43:09 - 00:10:49:03
like yourself, Belinda, make such a
difference in this day and age.
00:10:49:04 - 00:10:53:02
So maybe you can tell me a little bit
around some of the support, because I know
00:10:53:02 - 00:10:53:23
you've written the book and I think...
00:10:53:23 - 00:10:55:18
you've written the book and I think...
00:10:55:18 - 00:10:59:12
titled, you know, surviving, because
that's what it actually is.
00:10:59:12 - 00:11:01:19
So why don't you tell us a little bit
about the book and how that kind of came
00:11:01:19 - 00:11:01:20
So why don't you tell us a little bit
about the book and how that kind of came
00:11:01:20 - 00:11:03:11
So why don't you tell us a little bit
about the book and how that kind of came
00:11:03:11 - 00:11:07:01
to be and where you've taken that from
now.
00:11:07:01 - 00:11:11:03
I wrote the book because many of the books
that were out there were written by people
00:11:11:03 - 00:11:13:21
who didn't have any qualifications.
00:11:13:21 - 00:11:18:14
So their heart was in the right place and
they really wanted to help future parents.
00:11:18:14 - 00:11:23:13
But what was written in the books was
often unrealistic, wasn't really backed up
00:11:23:13 - 00:11:24:12
by the evidence.
00:11:24:12 - 00:11:26:13
Some of it wasn't even safe.
00:11:26:13 - 00:11:32:01
And I thought, I want to put a book out
the sort of book I wish I had when I had
00:11:32:01 - 00:11:33:00
my baby.
00:11:33:00 - 00:11:35:15
When I took my baby home from the
hospital,
00:11:35:15 - 00:11:40:07
I hadn't been around babies that much and
I wasn't a midwife yet.
00:11:40:07 - 00:11:45:09
I was a nurse, but I wasn't a midwife and
I didn't have any skills in that area.
00:11:45:09 - 00:11:52:10
And I wanted the book to have options and
present lots of useful information that
00:11:52:10 - 00:11:57:07
you could just look up a section if your
baby was crying and go to that section and
00:11:57:07 - 00:11:59:16
get a whole heap of strategies to try.
00:11:59:16 - 00:12:03:09
to soothe them because let's face it, if
your baby's crying, that's what you're
00:12:03:09 - 00:12:07:07
after at the time, something to soothe
your baby and to try and figure out what's
00:12:07:07 - 00:12:08:07
wrong.
00:12:08:07 - 00:12:13:05
And so I set the book up in a way that
people could just get to what information
00:12:13:05 - 00:12:17:14
they needed rather than read it from the
beginning because, you know, we're all
00:12:17:14 - 00:12:22:19
busy people and it's important to pinpoint
the stuff that we need at the time.
00:12:22:19 - 00:12:27:02
And then from the book, I've then, I've
got a blog.
00:12:27:02 - 00:12:29:09
And I've got my own podcast, Midwife in
Your Pocket.
00:12:29:09 - 00:12:30:23
And I've got my own podcast, Midwife in
Your Pocket.
00:12:30:23 - 00:12:38:00
And I've also got an online community, The
Baby Circle, where we really support new
00:12:38:00 - 00:12:45:09
parents, mainly mums, in that sort of
pregnancy and early parenting right up to
00:12:45:09 - 00:12:45:22
caring for a newborn baby and up to even a
toddler.
00:12:45:22 - 00:12:49:15
caring for a newborn baby and up to even a
toddler.
00:12:49:15 - 00:12:51:06
Yeah, love, love that.
00:12:51:06 - 00:12:54:19
It's so now that I reflect back, I think
there was five years of my life where I
00:12:54:19 - 00:12:56:19
lost sleep completely.
00:12:56:19 - 00:12:59:03
And so trying to operate at work on very
little sleep, a lot of caffeine at the
00:12:59:03 - 00:13:03:04
And so trying to operate at work on very
little sleep, a lot of caffeine at the
00:13:03:04 - 00:13:09:13
time to hold me together, but trying to
read every book under the sun, trying to
00:13:09:13 - 00:13:11:18
understand how do I make my child actually
sleep?
00:13:11:18 - 00:13:14:01
understand how do I make my child actually
sleep?
00:13:14:01 - 00:13:16:23
through the night was probably one of my
biggest challenges.
00:13:16:23 - 00:13:18:01
through the night was probably one of my
biggest challenges.
00:13:18:08 - 00:13:22:15
And like you said, being able to go
somewhere, a resource, we can just go,
00:13:22:15 - 00:13:25:09
look, I need to know this and I need to
know now.
00:13:25:09 - 00:13:28:23
And again, if I could have a community to
say, help, please, I need to do a massive
00:13:28:23 - 00:13:30:09
And again, if I could have a community to
say, help, please, I need to do a massive
00:13:30:09 - 00:13:31:09
And again, if I could have a community to
say, help, please, I need to do a massive
00:13:31:09 - 00:13:33:19
presentation and I need my child to sleep.
00:13:33:19 - 00:13:34:02
But I kind of forego that for five years
or so.
00:13:34:02 - 00:13:37:10
But I kind of forego that for five years
or so.
00:13:37:15 - 00:13:42:17
so hard that sleep deprivation, but it's,
it's one of the things we know nearly all
00:13:42:17 - 00:13:45:11
parents are going to have to go through.
00:13:45:11 - 00:13:45:12
Yeah.
00:13:45:12 - 00:13:46:14
Yeah.
00:13:46:14 - 00:13:54:07
So thinking about sort of support systems
at home and around, and even in that
00:13:54:07 - 00:14:01:12
return to work phase, what are you seeing
as sort of the best options out there at
00:14:01:12 - 00:14:02:11
the moment?
00:14:02:20 - 00:14:07:08
So I think a community is really important
and we know it takes a village to raise a
00:14:07:08 - 00:14:10:23
child and everyone says that, but it's
actually true.
00:14:10:23 - 00:14:13:17
And that village is different for every
family.
00:14:13:17 - 00:14:19:02
So you might have family that are close
by, extended family, but many of us don't
00:14:19:02 - 00:14:21:09
in this day and age, we've moved away.
00:14:21:09 - 00:14:21:12
And so then it's looking around it, you
know, making connections with other
00:14:21:12 - 00:14:26:03
And so then it's looking around it, you
know, making connections with other
00:14:26:03 - 00:14:31:23
parents, close friends, and then even
looking at the support systems around.
00:14:32:03 - 00:14:32:21
families.
00:14:32:21 - 00:14:38:18
So that might mean great childcare
services, that might mean fantastic
00:14:38:18 - 00:14:38:22
cleaning services that can come in and
clean your house or help with that.
00:14:38:22 - 00:14:43:23
cleaning services that can come in and
clean your house or help with that.
00:14:43:23 - 00:14:49:00
There's fabulous meal delivery systems,
there's all sorts of jobs, I guess, that
00:14:49:00 - 00:14:50:07
There's fabulous meal delivery systems,
there's all sorts of jobs, I guess, that
00:14:50:07 - 00:14:53:16
we used to do ourselves that we can now
get help with.
00:14:53:16 - 00:14:56:13
And even down to laundry services.
00:14:56:13 - 00:15:02:09
Nappy services, if you're using cloth
nappies or even the modern cloth nappies.
00:15:02:09 - 00:15:05:20
And we don't have to do it all ourselves.
00:15:06:10 - 00:15:11:03
And I think particularly with return to
work, that's a time where you've really
00:15:11:03 - 00:15:13:07
got to be kind to yourself.
00:15:13:07 - 00:15:15:02
It is a juggle.
00:15:15:02 - 00:15:20:14
And I think by using some of those
services, you can really make it much
00:15:20:14 - 00:15:22:02
easier for yourself.
00:15:22:02 - 00:15:24:23
I think that's a really important point
there because sometimes as women, moms,
00:15:24:23 - 00:15:29:12
I think that's a really important point
there because sometimes as women, moms,
00:15:29:12 - 00:15:34:05
you know, we want to do the best in
everything that we do.
00:15:34:05 - 00:15:38:16
I know so many women who are high
achievers and they bucket into that.
00:15:38:16 - 00:15:45:20
Well, therefore I've got to maintain a my
personal presence, my brand, my everything
00:15:45:20 - 00:15:46:23
that's happening with Bob.
00:15:46:23 - 00:15:50:08
I've got to hold everything together and
make sure the house is clean and
00:15:50:08 - 00:15:51:15
everything else.
00:15:51:15 - 00:15:57:17
And yet I think being able to know that
you've got these other services, you can
00:15:57:17 - 00:16:00:19
lean on that and you know what, it's okay.
00:16:00:19 - 00:16:04:14
You're not supposed to, you've just
birthed this child.
00:16:04:14 - 00:16:11:17
You are trying to head back into work as
well and you know, give yourself that
00:16:11:17 - 00:16:16:15
time, give yourself that slack to, you
know, get back into the swing of things.
00:16:16:15 - 00:16:20:13
It is going to feel so different.
00:16:20:13 - 00:16:22:05
to how it was before.
00:16:22:05 - 00:16:28:14
And I think maybe just on that, it's, you
know, you've got experiences across
00:16:28:14 - 00:16:28:16
separation with your child in, whether
that's daycare, it's changes to your body.
00:16:28:16 - 00:16:34:07
separation with your child in, whether
that's daycare, it's changes to your body.
00:16:34:07 - 00:16:35:14
separation with your child in, whether
that's daycare, it's changes to your body.
00:16:35:14 - 00:16:39:22
It really isn't going to feel like it was
before.
00:16:39:22 - 00:16:40:03
And, you know, I think there's a raft of
other things there.
00:16:40:03 - 00:16:42:18
And, you know, I think there's a raft of
other things there.
00:16:42:18 - 00:16:44:23
So thinking about...
00:16:44:23 - 00:16:46:00
that.
00:16:46:00 - 00:16:50:08
Belinda, what else are you seeing as some
of those challenges that mums are being
00:16:50:08 - 00:16:57:04
facing into as they return to work and
some of the tips you'd kind of give around
00:16:57:04 - 00:16:58:07
that as well?
00:16:58:16 - 00:16:59:08
Sure.
00:16:59:08 - 00:17:06:06
So I think returning to work, the word
that always comes to mind and that women
00:17:06:06 - 00:17:10:15
say to me over and over again is that it
is a juggle.
00:17:10:15 - 00:17:15:15
So there really is that juggle of
prioritizing what's really important.
00:17:15:18 - 00:17:20:20
And that's why I often go to looking for
other services outside the house that can
00:17:20:20 - 00:17:26:06
help you because most moms, like you were
saying, we want to be super moms.
00:17:26:06 - 00:17:28:06
And I don't know why.
00:17:28:06 - 00:17:31:13
We want to do that, but most of us do.
00:17:31:13 - 00:17:35:03
And we look back at what our mums may have
done for us.
00:17:35:03 - 00:17:37:19
And that's what we think is necessary.
00:17:37:19 - 00:17:41:03
But in many cases, our mums weren't
returning to work as soon or for as many
00:17:41:03 - 00:17:43:06
But in many cases, our mums weren't
returning to work as soon or for as many
00:17:43:06 - 00:17:46:18
hours a week, or in some cases at all.
00:17:46:18 - 00:17:51:11
And so we can't expect to be able to do
the same as what they did.
00:17:51:11 - 00:17:52:18
And actually it doesn't make us a better
mum for stretching ourselves that thin.
00:17:52:18 - 00:17:57:06
And actually it doesn't make us a better
mum for stretching ourselves that thin.
00:17:57:06 - 00:18:01:02
It's really important that we look after
ourselves and it really is that analogy of
00:18:01:02 - 00:18:05:18
putting our own oxygen mask on first
because we can't be a good mum if we're
00:18:05:18 - 00:18:07:01
stretched too thin.
00:18:07:01 - 00:18:13:13
So I think with return to work, we've got
the piece of getting help and support and
00:18:13:13 - 00:18:18:17
then we've got that separation piece
really is important to talk about because
00:18:18:17 - 00:18:23:04
it could be the first time that we're
separated from our baby for more than a
00:18:23:04 - 00:18:24:16
short amount of time.
00:18:24:16 - 00:18:27:00
An eight hour day is significant.
00:18:27:00 - 00:18:31:19
And if there's travel on top of that, it
can sometimes be more like 10 hours
00:18:31:19 - 00:18:34:02
between seeing your baby and then
returning to them.
00:18:34:02 - 00:18:35:07
between seeing your baby and then
returning to them.
00:18:35:07 - 00:18:37:21
So that's really huge.
00:18:37:21 - 00:18:45:16
And as much as many of us love our jobs as
well and our roles, it can be really hard
00:18:45:16 - 00:18:49:17
moving away from your baby for that amount
of time, particularly right at the
00:18:49:17 - 00:18:50:13
beginning.
00:18:50:13 - 00:18:54:15
What you'll often find is that they have a
wonderful time when you're not there and
00:18:54:15 - 00:18:58:02
they're not missing you as much as you
think that they might.
00:18:58:04 - 00:19:02:21
But it still really pulls at the
heartstrings and it can be a challenge for
00:19:02:21 - 00:19:03:19
sure.
00:19:04:08 - 00:19:05:22
Yeah, definitely.
00:19:05:22 - 00:19:12:16
I think being able to give yourself that
space and that it's okay, it is going to
00:19:12:16 - 00:19:16:17
feel very different to anything you've
experienced before.
00:19:16:17 - 00:19:17:12
feel very different to anything you've
experienced before.
00:19:17:12 - 00:19:21:16
And the juggle of being able to sort of go
run to work after you've dropped the kids
00:19:21:16 - 00:19:24:11
And the juggle of being able to sort of go
run to work after you've dropped the kids
00:19:24:11 - 00:19:27:07
off, make it back in time.
00:19:27:07 - 00:19:31:11
And I think also there's this element
mentally of
00:19:31:18 - 00:19:33:09
I've got to leave work early.
00:19:33:09 - 00:19:35:17
You know, we're very lucky, I think, or
times have changed a lot.
00:19:35:17 - 00:19:38:00
You know, we're very lucky, I think, or
times have changed a lot.
00:19:38:00 - 00:19:38:06
Since I was in early employment, where it
felt like you had to be seen at work and
00:19:38:06 - 00:19:42:17
Since I was in early employment, where it
felt like you had to be seen at work and
00:19:42:17 - 00:19:44:06
do all that sort of thing.
00:19:44:06 - 00:19:48:04
You know, a lot of businesses have now
moved on from that.
00:19:48:04 - 00:19:53:23
And so that being able to get to daycare
on time or leave a bit earlier so that
00:19:53:23 - 00:19:56:21
you're not picking up, you know, really,
really late.
00:19:56:21 - 00:20:00:21
which also then adds more pressure onto
your family life as well.
00:20:00:21 - 00:20:06:17
So where you have that flexibility, I
think it does help the family unit as a
00:20:06:17 - 00:20:06:21
So where you have that flexibility, I
think it does help the family unit as a
00:20:06:21 - 00:20:08:04
whole as well.
00:20:08:04 - 00:20:13:17
that flexibility piece is huge now
compared to, you know, pre pandemic, for
00:20:13:17 - 00:20:19:06
instance, we have learned to become much
more flexible and workplaces have as well.
00:20:19:06 - 00:20:24:08
And that has been so good for families,
for all parents.
00:20:24:13 - 00:20:29:06
It can just be a little bit tricky and
become a double edged sword in that, you
00:20:29:06 - 00:20:32:19
know, our devices can all come home with
us and we can keep working into the
00:20:32:19 - 00:20:36:15
evening, which sometimes has to happen.
00:20:36:15 - 00:20:40:06
but it's good to have some boundaries
there as well for your own health and
00:20:40:06 - 00:20:41:06
wellbeing.
00:20:41:10 - 00:20:42:22
Yeah, definitely.
00:20:42:22 - 00:20:43:06
I know I have ticked over both ends of the
scale.
00:20:43:06 - 00:20:46:22
I know I have ticked over both ends of the
scale.
00:20:46:23 - 00:20:51:19
So I think, you know, really, really
important to remember that along that
00:20:51:19 - 00:20:52:15
journey.
00:20:52:15 - 00:20:55:18
So then if I think about balancing that
sort of those demands of your career and
00:20:55:18 - 00:21:01:17
So then if I think about balancing that
sort of those demands of your career and
00:21:01:17 - 00:21:07:00
wanting to kind of move forward still, but
whilst, you know, looking after Bob,
00:21:07:00 - 00:21:10:14
whether that's one or two at home or
things like that.
00:21:10:14 - 00:21:10:19
What's some of your experiences being, you
know, a mum to four, personally, being
00:21:10:19 - 00:21:16:21
What's some of your experiences being, you
know, a mum to four, personally, being
00:21:16:21 - 00:21:17:10
able to juggle your career whilst
actually, you know, still successfully,
00:21:17:10 - 00:21:17:17
able to juggle your career whilst
actually, you know, still successfully,
00:21:17:17 - 00:21:21:21
able to juggle your career whilst
actually, you know, still successfully,
00:21:21:21 - 00:21:24:13
and I know that your daughter's getting
married as well, so pretty exciting times.
00:21:24:13 - 00:21:27:15
and I know that your daughter's getting
married as well, so pretty exciting times.
00:21:27:15 - 00:21:32:01
What's some advice that you would give
anyone in those early stages?
00:21:32:18 - 00:21:39:23
think the biggest piece of advice is that
it's okay if your career is on hold a
00:21:39:23 - 00:21:42:04
little for for a short amount of time.
00:21:42:04 - 00:21:46:23
And I do understand it depends what
industry you're working in.
00:21:46:23 - 00:21:51:14
Particularly, I know some industries where
there's a lot of research involved and
00:21:51:14 - 00:21:55:18
things like that they really aren't able
to put their work on hold for very long.
00:21:55:18 - 00:21:58:02
But there's many industries where they
can.
00:21:58:02 - 00:21:59:11
I was
00:21:59:11 - 00:22:03:01
lucky enough that I was working at the
hospital as a midwife for most of that
00:22:03:01 - 00:22:04:02
time.
00:22:04:02 - 00:22:08:17
And I was able to work some fairly
flexible hours and you know, which
00:22:08:17 - 00:22:13:00
included night duty and all sorts of
things that you do around the family.
00:22:13:00 - 00:22:16:12
But it was really helpful being able to do
that.
00:22:16:12 - 00:22:21:10
And for my husband to be able to parent
quite a lot when I wasn't there.
00:22:21:10 - 00:22:26:05
And that was great for him and his
relationship with our children as well.
00:22:26:09 - 00:22:30:02
for most of the time that my children were
little, I was also studying.
00:22:30:02 - 00:22:34:15
So I was a registered nurse before the
first baby.
00:22:34:15 - 00:22:38:06
And then after the second baby, I went
back and became a midwife.
00:22:38:06 - 00:22:43:12
Then after the third baby, I went back and
became a maternal and child health nurse.
00:22:43:12 - 00:22:48:22
And so I was always studying up to sort of
that master's level, which kept me very
00:22:48:22 - 00:22:50:04
busy.
00:22:50:11 - 00:22:52:18
And, but I loved it.
00:22:52:18 - 00:22:55:23
And so I still was moving ahead in my
career.
00:22:55:23 - 00:22:58:17
but it was more gradual and it was in, I
guess I was catching up in those little
00:22:58:17 - 00:23:00:06
but it was more gradual and it was in, I
guess I was catching up in those little
00:23:00:06 - 00:23:05:23
pockets all around my family time, but I
wasn't gone too much.
00:23:06:03 - 00:23:07:04
Yeah, yeah.
00:23:07:04 - 00:23:10:06
And I think there's elements around that.
00:23:10:06 - 00:23:13:19
It's the, you know, we hear it all the
time, but it is so true.
00:23:13:19 - 00:23:19:22
It is about the quality of that time
together that you kind of, as you said,
00:23:19:22 - 00:23:22:23
there's ruthless prioritization that
happens.
00:23:22:23 - 00:23:27:12
And then it's blocking out those times
where, you know, now with devices and
00:23:27:12 - 00:23:30:09
stuff, it's the phones down, it's
dedicated time.
00:23:30:09 - 00:23:33:11
And spending that really enjoying that,
that
00:23:33:11 - 00:23:34:16
time together.
00:23:34:16 - 00:23:43:04
And I would say also from my perspective
that being able to just stop and really
00:23:43:04 - 00:23:47:22
enjoy the time that you've got, it will be
okay.
00:23:47:22 - 00:23:53:14
Again, depending on the career, choice, et
cetera, but taking that time out, whether
00:23:53:14 - 00:23:56:05
that's three months for you, whether
that's six months, whether that's 12
00:23:56:05 - 00:24:02:00
months or whether that's longer, being
able to take that break and enjoy it
00:24:02:00 - 00:24:03:10
because,
00:24:03:10 - 00:24:06:14
that time goes very, very fast.
00:24:06:14 - 00:24:10:21
And then before you know it, they'll be
12, 13, and then into their teens and 20.
00:24:10:21 - 00:24:17:00
And you will look back and think, wow,
when did that actually all happen?
00:24:17:12 - 00:24:23:07
And I love the fact that my children have
seen me do all of those different things
00:24:23:07 - 00:24:28:11
throughout their early childhood because
they know anything is possible.
00:24:28:11 - 00:24:33:00
And they know that we, yeah, they
definitely know that we had lots of that
00:24:33:00 - 00:24:35:05
quality time as well.
00:24:35:05 - 00:24:42:08
And I think some mums or parents are much
better parents if they're moving ahead in
00:24:42:08 - 00:24:45:03
their careers, which is...
00:24:45:03 - 00:24:47:21
one of the things that they absolutely
love.
00:24:47:23 - 00:24:52:09
And then there's other parents who are
better if they're a full, fully stay at
00:24:52:09 - 00:24:53:00
home parents.
00:24:53:00 - 00:24:57:20
So there's, there's no right or wrong and
everyone has to find where they sit on
00:24:57:20 - 00:24:59:05
that continuum.
00:24:59:10 - 00:25:00:12
Yeah, no, that that's great advice,
Belinda.
00:25:00:12 - 00:25:01:18
Yeah, no, that that's great advice,
Belinda.
00:25:01:18 - 00:25:07:17
It's absolutely the case that it's you
need to find out what's right for you and
00:25:07:17 - 00:25:12:22
then go with that and you can test and
trial and learn until you do and you find
00:25:12:22 - 00:25:16:09
that right balance for what you're looking
for.
00:25:16:09 - 00:25:17:12
Love it.
00:25:17:12 - 00:25:19:07
Okay, so.
00:25:19:07 - 00:25:26:22
Now, as I start to wrap up, I am going to
ask you three quick questions.
00:25:26:22 - 00:25:33:18
And so the first one being, given that
it's the Style and Strategy podcast, what
00:25:33:18 - 00:25:41:20
would be your signature style piece that
you fully believe represents your personal
00:25:41:20 - 00:25:45:15
brand and is probably an essential part of
your wardrobe?
00:25:46:15 - 00:25:52:15
So I think the thing that comes to mind
most is that I like to keep my clothing
00:25:52:15 - 00:25:55:15
and my style quite simple.
00:25:55:15 - 00:25:56:05
And I feel like that is because I've got
four children and over the years I've had
00:25:56:05 - 00:26:00:19
And I feel like that is because I've got
four children and over the years I've had
00:26:00:19 - 00:26:06:19
to be able to get up, get dressed, get out
of the house without too much effort.
00:26:06:19 - 00:26:08:13
That sounds terrible, doesn't it?
00:26:08:13 - 00:26:10:14
On a style podcast.
00:26:10:16 - 00:26:15:12
But I've kind of hovered around, oh, it's
terrible.
00:26:15:12 - 00:26:21:07
I could have made my own uniform, I think,
but I hover around the black pants or
00:26:21:07 - 00:26:29:05
jeans and then a top of some sort, which
often has pops of pink in it.
00:26:29:05 - 00:26:33:11
I really do like pink and it is a brand
colour for me as well.
00:26:33:11 - 00:26:36:20
But I do try and keep it fairly simple.
00:26:37:10 - 00:26:39:20
But I love that it's keeping it simple.
00:26:39:20 - 00:26:45:13
If that is what works, so it makes it easy
for you, then that is why it's an
00:26:45:13 - 00:26:47:09
essential part of your wardrobe.
00:26:47:21 - 00:26:49:18
Now, transformational read.
00:26:49:18 - 00:26:53:07
So for our listeners looking for
inspiration, what book are you either
00:26:53:07 - 00:26:54:13
So for our listeners looking for
inspiration, what book are you either
00:26:54:13 - 00:26:59:05
currently reading or listening to that has
had a significant impact on you, whether
00:26:59:05 - 00:27:02:01
from a personal brand or a leadership
perspective?
00:27:02:16 - 00:27:09:11
I have just finished the book, The Big
Leap, and I loved it because it really
00:27:09:11 - 00:27:16:07
tries to push those boundaries of what you
think is possible in your life and in your
00:27:16:07 - 00:27:17:08
career.
00:27:17:15 - 00:27:23:03
And I think we can always look to extend
those boundaries.
00:27:23:09 - 00:27:24:13
It's a fabulous book.
00:27:24:13 - 00:27:26:04
You should all read it.
00:27:26:04 - 00:27:26:07
Yeah, I have to echo that.
00:27:26:07 - 00:27:28:16
Yeah, I have to echo that.
00:27:28:16 - 00:27:34:03
I keep walking around going, oh, is this
an upper limit issue or not?
00:27:34:07 - 00:27:34:14
And then finally mindset ritual.
00:27:34:14 - 00:27:37:05
And then finally mindset ritual.
00:27:37:06 - 00:27:40:09
So we all have those days when we need an
extra boost.
00:27:40:09 - 00:27:45:09
What's your quick mindset ritual that
helps you feeling empowered and ready to
00:27:45:09 - 00:27:46:22
tackle anything?
00:27:47:02 - 00:27:52:04
I actually think it's almost a daily
ritual for me at this point in time, but
00:27:52:04 - 00:27:56:14
probably wasn't when the children were so
little, but I'm an early riser.
00:27:56:14 - 00:28:02:14
I love getting up early and packing in a
few things for myself before the day
00:28:02:14 - 00:28:06:06
really starts with the children and the
family and the career.
00:28:06:06 - 00:28:06:13
So I often try and do some exercise, even
if it's only five to 10 minutes, I still
00:28:06:13 - 00:28:11:12
So I often try and do some exercise, even
if it's only five to 10 minutes, I still
00:28:11:12 - 00:28:13:19
feel better for having done it.
00:28:13:20 - 00:28:21:06
and some meditation, some journaling, and
often some learning as well, some form of
00:28:21:06 - 00:28:26:10
learning that might be listening to a
podcast, that might be listening to an
00:28:26:10 - 00:28:29:16
audio book or even reading a little bit.
00:28:29:16 - 00:28:35:01
I do really love packing some of those
things into my mornings, most mornings.
00:28:35:01 - 00:28:37:02
It sets me up for a great day.
00:28:37:02 - 00:28:37:03
It sets me up for a great day.
00:28:37:08 - 00:28:38:16
Definitely does.
00:28:38:16 - 00:28:44:15
Just getting that time to yourself in the
morning can make such a difference to the
00:28:44:15 - 00:28:46:13
rest of your day.
00:28:46:14 - 00:28:52:19
So Belinda, if my listeners would know
someone who is maybe at that beginning
00:28:52:19 - 00:28:58:11
stage and would like to hear more from you
and maybe get a copy of your book or maybe
00:28:58:11 - 00:29:00:03
even join your membership, how can they
find you?
00:29:00:03 - 00:29:01:15
even join your membership, how can they
find you?
00:29:02:11 - 00:29:06:09
I'll give you a link to put in the show
notes as well for the baby circle.
00:29:06:09 - 00:29:08:05
That's my online community.
00:29:08:05 - 00:29:12:00
And it's the, I guess, my, um, most
favorite part of what I do because I
00:29:12:00 - 00:29:14:20
And it's the, I guess, my, um, most
favorite part of what I do because I
00:29:14:20 - 00:29:22:04
actually get to really support new moms
and new parents ongoing, but, um, they
00:29:22:04 - 00:29:24:09
could also go to Belinda Joyce .com.
00:29:24:09 - 00:29:25:17
That's my website.
00:29:25:17 - 00:29:27:00
I've got a blog there.
00:29:27:00 - 00:29:30:09
All the podcasts episodes are there and.
00:29:30:09 - 00:29:34:10
My books also available there and at all
good bookstores.
00:29:34:22 - 00:29:35:18
Fantastic.
00:29:35:18 - 00:29:37:11
Thank you so much, Belinda.
00:29:37:11 - 00:29:42:22
I will have all those details in the show
notes so you can connect with Belinda and
00:29:42:22 - 00:29:46:07
drop her any questions you might have
along the way.
00:29:46:07 - 00:29:47:17
But thank you so much, Belinda.
00:29:47:17 - 00:29:50:22
I've really enjoyed having you today to
chat.
00:29:50:22 - 00:29:50:23
I've really enjoyed having you today to
chat.
00:29:51:02 - 00:29:52:10
My pleasure.